Your Hometown News Source
Your Hometown News Source
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It was every fairboard’s nightmare when the lightning hit the stage. ’Course, it might have been expected; it was just another page In a trail of disasters that befell our county fair That began when Dr. Knockwurst told us we should be aware That a stomatitis outbreak might shut down the rodeo Not to mention all the entries in the Junior Livestock Show. Then the week before we opened they began to excavate Down the center of the highway that runs up to the main gate. Of course, they hit a waterl...
A good cowboy will go beyond the call of duty and even put himself in harm’s way to help a suffering beast. Doug and Patty run a ranch in that big, wide country in eastern New Mexico. They’d received several loads of cow/calf pairs. The weather was against ’em and the calves went to scourin’. The cows were turned out in a big pasture. Treating the calves wasn’t easy. The morning of the incident, their neighbor, Caleb, came to help. He was ridin’ a big mule. They trailed through the cows and spot...
Aunt Effie was the ‘Neighborhood Healer’ in her community of Noble, OK. When I was visiting and scraped my arm or had a stomachache, she always had the right potion, poultice, roots, soak or fern to treat the ailment. Her husband, Uncle Leonard, was an authority on the ailments of cows and mules. That was 20 years before the widespread availability of penicillin in 1939. The lifespan of the average person was 47 years old. Today, it is 78 years old (pre-Covid). That is just one example of the un...
The big boy land developers hired them a worn out hack To go and buy the water rights off farmers down the track. “Just pay ’em anything they ask. Heck, any price on earth. Those farmer’s haven’t got a clue of what it’s really worth.” “Them’s fightin’ words,” the farmer said. “This water ain’t for sale. It’s all that keeps this place alive. Without it crops would fail.” The lawyer sorta laughed it off. “We’ll get it anyway. The cities need it all to grow. You can’t stand in their way. It’s...
Today there is an increased recognition of the bonding process between man and animals. Pets are now referred to in politically correct circles as companion animals. Companion. By definition; an associate, a comrade. It’s not a bad choice of words in a world where families get fractionated, children leave home, neighbors don’t know each other and people get lonely. A pet can be a good companion. Of course, when the word ‘bonding’ is used, they are almost always speaking of the bonding between...
Mother gave me a small box of old pocket watches and a book entitled “A Practical Course in Horology.” It was a Christmas gift. A family heirloom, of sorts. “I don’t know if you’ve got anything of your father’s,” she said. “Fixing watches was his hobby. I thought you might enjoy these.” A wave of emotion swept through me. Although the sensation lasted only seconds, I felt the complete awareness of how much of me was him. “Did I get anything of my father’s?” I should say so. Agriculture, for la...
The steer that topped the show this year was partly Chianina. The bull that threw the biggest calf was partly Simmental. The carcass class was swept away by three-eighths Limousiners The Gelbvieh cross was judged the best in this years overall. The feedlot men like Piedmontese to feed as crossbred critters Or any kind of cloven hoof that shows some part Charolais. A salers cross or Tarentaise that’s half or quarter blooded Or maybe half breed Longhorn calves or partly Murray Grey. The Brahma b...
If it were possible to clone human beings from history, what would they be doing today? For instance, if we were somehow able to find a strand of DNA from Robin Hood, clone him and raise him in our modern environment, what do you reckon he’d be doing? His genes would give him the predilection to master disguises, slink around in back rooms and rob from the rich. Obviously, he’d be in politics. The sheriff of Nottingham, on the other hand would rob from the rich and poor alike and have no con...
I wanna tell y’all a true story that happened to a friend of mine. Big Jim was judgin’ the rodeo at Burlington last year. They call him Big Jim ’cause he’s big as a round bale and twice as tough. But he don’t move quite as fast as he did in his ol’ bronc ridin’ days. Big Jim always had a way with animals. He roped a skunk one time when he was a little boy and drug it home. His dad made him unsaddle a hundred yards from the house. Jim said his ol’ pony walked right into the pond and stuck his who...
“Doctor, I’m here because I’m a . . . I’m a . . . “ “Relax. Many people have psychological conflicts. Lay back on the couch and tell me about it.” “Okay. It’s just that I don’t know if it’s normal or something I should worry about. I’m a . . . vegan.” “I see. It’s not an uncommon condition among the upwardly mobile. Something like three percent are afflicted at one time or another. The scientific name is Dysfunctional Alimentary Obsessive Behavior, or in layman’s terms, Carniphobia. “When did yo...
“It’s for you,” his darlin’ told him as he lay back in the chair For a well deserved siesta. Ugh, it wasn’t really fair. It was Chuck, his nearest neighbor – did he have to call right now? Millard took the phone and listened, “Are you sure that it’s my cow?” As if he’d changed his brand last week or something equally absurd Like the F.B.I. was posing as a member of his herd Or an alien invasion took possession of his place And planned to infiltrate the earth as cows from outer space. But no easy...
For those of you who forgot how easy it was to get started in farming let me tell you about my friend Con. Many years ago, he bought a farm in the wilds of Minnesota. The feller that sold him the farm had his farm sale the day Con arrived to take possession of the land. Now, Con had been a cowboy type all his life and, upon viewing the farm machinery stacked in the yard, he was hard put to identify anything other than the handy man jack and a tractor. But he thought if this stuff was good...
I grew up in a county that was 65% Spanish-speaking. The biggest distinction between races was not color, it was Catholics and Baptists. My first experience with prejudice was the summer I spent on a job in Kansas City…1978… the year after the city burned itself down. Years ago in Kansas City, I set out one night to find one of them ‘down home’ guitar blues pickers that I had read about in the Sunday paper. I was drivin’ around Saturday night lookin’ for Walter’s Crescendo Lounge. I had some rib...
“Where were you born?” The reporter asked one of my Colorado cowboy friends. “Iowa,” he answered. “Iowa!” she said. “Why did you move?” “Because it’s hard to be a cowboy in Iowa.” Well, it might be harder to be a cowboy in the Midwest but they’ve got a bunch of good ones anyway. No matter how much dependence modern cowmen place on man-made mechanical devices, there are times when nothin’ beats a good roper a’horseback. Illinois is an anthill of bovine activity. They have an abundance of cow-ca...
A while back I was asked who has had the greatest influence on my life. I hadn’t ever given it much thought, like most folks, I guess. After considerin’ for a while, I came up with five people that I could say actually affected the direction of my thinkin’. My dad, Doc Brimhall, John Basabe, Red Steagall, Patrick Gottsch and Rupert Mansell. Mr. Mansell was my vo ag teacher in Las Cruces, New Mexico, from 1961-1962. “Here by the owl. The owl is the symbol of wisdom...” It’s hard for a 16-year-o...
When it’s springtime in the Rockies And my lips are turning blue I’ll be slogging through the blizzard like a brain dead caribou… Ah, springtime. That first hint of life beginning anew, the annual transformation, its throat in long tubercular coughs that turn rain into birdshot, sleet into ice, ice into snowflakes shaped like goatheads or bob wire, Not falling but slicing by you like shrapnel, sandblasting your face, freezing your rein hand into a claw and turning forty-five degrees and balmy...
“Have I got a deal for you! Got this horse on a trade. He don’t squint half as bad ridin’ him in the shade. I know he limps a little. Yer eyeball is astute. But fair is fair, my friend, so I’ll throw in a case of Bute. No! He ain’t got the heaves! Though I know he looks the part. He’s just a heavy breather, but he’s got a lot of heart. Bloodlines? Talkin’ royal blue. A genuine contender. I’ll have these papers printed; fit any race you enter.” The would-be buyer of this horse just stared a...
Imagine you were a livestock man in medieval England a thousand years ago. It’s early spring. Snow on the ground, mud in the cow lot. You walk the small pasture where the heavy heifers are kept. It’s hard to see much with just the moonlight. But you spot one that’s down in a swale. She’s on her side in the process of calving. One foot is showing. You check the rest of the cows the best you can and go back to the heifer. No progress. You wait a little longer, then resigned to your duty, you wal...
He’s the tumbleweed chef and rides with the wagon Ahead of the thunderin’ herd. His pots and pans clack like a diamondback’s rattle. He growls or he don’t say a word. His face is a roadmap. Looks like a carcass Hung too many days in the sun. He smells like a mule and cooks with a shovel, And his fly is always undone. The riders kin tell when he’s in the kitchen, The buzzards all come onto view. He spits in the pan and shaves in the taters, And clips his toenails in the stew. His gunpowder...
“A fine lookin’ horse you’ve got there (if yer into modern art) I had a horse like that one time (but he wasn’t very smart) I’d guess that he’s part thoroughbred (and part Catahoula hound) You get him in a claiming race? (or at the lost and found) Oh, really, you’ve got the papers (I’d use ’em to train the dog) And he’s outta He’s California! (No wonder he smells like smog) He seems a little bit feisty (to have one foot in the grave) Yup, I’ve used Ace myself sometimes (when there’s somethin’ le...
It is the best of times. Calving at its finest. The calling of those chosen to tend God’s creatures. To take part in simple miracles. To alter the balance of life on earth by one small addition. It is the worst of times. Calving in the midst of a winter when one needs a depth finder to see the top of the market. When it is less worrisome to lose oneself in the task of daily responsibilities easing the burden of birth, than thinking about the price of next fall’s over-crowded weaner crop. A dilem...
This is a quiz to determine your calving sanity (or help you pass time in the calving barn). Match the columns. 1. Aching A. Tongues 2. Black B. Back 3. C C. Batteries 4. Cold D. Boots 5. Cracked E. Calves 6. Dead F. Breath 7. Dry G. Buckets 8. Full H. Checks 9. Hot I. Squeeze 10. Leg J. Hands 11. Midnight K. Feet 12. Muddy L. Fingers 13. Round M. Forearms 14. Slick N. Eyes 15. Soft O. Heads 16. Steamy P. Hooves 17. Sticky Q. Knees 18. Stiff R. Moons 19. Swollen S. Section 20. Tight T. Coffee...
Lee Trevino has a street named after him in El Paso. Abraham Lincoln has a town named after him in Nebraska. Monty Montana has his namesake state and I’ve even got some hills named in my honor in South Dakota. But there is one feller who left his mark all over these United States. He’s got more towns and cities and counties and streets and states named after him than anyone else. An ex-president. No, not Jimmy Carter. It’s ol’ George Washington. I’ve noticed in most every town of any size ther...
Do you believe in ghosts? How ’bout angels? Miracles? Taro cards? I grew up believin’ in Heaven and all its assorted angelic inhabitants and their counterparts in the singed black hats. Reincarnation wasn’t taught in Sunday School but we were encouraged to believe that souls existed. So, with this sort of background it was easy for me to accept ghosts. Especially when I saw the ‘ghost of Yankee Bill Summit.’ This experience happened many years ago, but I was a full-grown man with a full-grow...
- “As long as you’ve got good elimination, you’ve got it made.” Uncle Leonard - “If a man can’t drive in a bar ditch, he’s got no business on the highway.” Tink - “When asked how she got to be president, Anita replied, ‘I missed the meeting’.” - “You can’t used too much tape.” Dr. Allen - Tom Hall says, “I enjoy all company. Some when they arrive, some when they leave.” - “A true friend will tell you if yer hat’s on backwards.” Calvin - “I’d rather be at the head of the ditch with a shovel than...